"'Perhaps I'm expressing myself in an exaggerated way, and I'm also quite aware that all or most people to whom I might say these things would find them exaggerated. But my way of speaking accords with my view of life; surely it's out of the question I might speak some other way. I haven't yet learned to feign contentment, satisfaction or a sense of well-being I don't feel, and anyone who thinks I might learn is mistaken. I'm too weak to pretend and deceive... It's such a relief to be permitted to confess one's weakness after months of nerve-racking restraint, which have demanded more strength than I possess. Since I cannot possibly go on indefinitely performing duties that bring out the worst in me, I'm now looking for work that will appeal both to my pride and to my weakness. Shall I succeed in finding it? I truly cannot say, but one thing I do know for certain is that I must search until I've succeeded in convincing myself that happiness and duty can coincide. ...
... I cannot live and at the same time despise my life. I must find myself a life, and a new life, even if all of life consists only of an endless search for life.'"
The Tanners, Robert Walser